


Vacillation

by SoriSeeraKyra



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Choking, Death, Force Choking, Force Sensitivity, Gen, Gender Neutral, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 11:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12409266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoriSeeraKyra/pseuds/SoriSeeraKyra
Summary: Request From Tumblr





	Vacillation

You were good, more than good, excellent even. From the way that you moved to the way that you concentrated. You had talent and a good eye for strategy, he couldn’t ask for a worthier pupil. He’d been skeptical about your presence when Supreme Leader Snoke had given you to him. For one thing, he had not completed his own training, so how could he be ready to train another? Another reason, was that he wasn’t sure that you had what it took to benefit from his teaching.

 

The way he was taught required an anger, a fire in the belly that allowed a person to overcome the highest of barriers. When you had arrived, he could not even see a hint of rage behind your wide doe like eyes. You had been modest and compliant in the way you had responded to him. Always following his orders and critiques, no matter how harsh they were, without complaint. A simple “Yes, sir” and an obedient aversion of your eyes, sometimes irritated him. You were not what he had been expecting when he was told that he would be taking on an apprentice. How could he teach you his ways when you were so obviously unsuited for them? Everything about you had been wrong.

 

When you would train together he’d made note of how elegant and precise your strikes with your lightsaber were, but he could feel that there was never any malice to your hits. Not when you trained with him, the Stormtroopers, or even the dummies he would have arranged for you to practice with. Was he sure that you were able to make the kill? Yes. Was he sure that you _would_ kill? No. What use could you have been? Especially against enemies like the rebellion who would surely pop-up like flies if you did not strike them down when you encountered them.

 

You left him confused, puzzled by your presence. On several occasions, he had tried to snoop into your mind to unravel your thought process. To get an understanding of what had been flowing through your brain. But your mental blocks had been unwavering, even when he had used a rougher approach to infiltrate your mind. You had not fluttered an eyelash or even questioned his approach, like with everything else you had taken it in stride, as if he had the right to do things he did to you.

 

How would he deal with you? It had been months since you had been placed under his care, months into your training, and nothing had seemingly changed. You listened and did everything that he told you, but he still felt unsure with your presence. As a result, he often left you behind when there was a raid to be done. For him, it was not that your skill was in question, it was your loyalties. If you had a soft heart, the way that he believed that you did, it could be conjectured that you may turn on him on the battlefield. If it were up to him, he would have gladly put you in that position and if you did turn on him, with great relief he would cut you down. But even though you had been given to him, you still belonged to Snoke, the same way he did, and therefore were not his to punish or test in that way.

 

“We are landing, sir.”

 

Kylo Ren stands from his seat and makes his way over to the entrance of his ship and he waits for the ship to dock and open. This raid had been successful, the same way the last one had. That also meant that it was uneventful and boring. It almost irritated him to have to turn his attention to pacify such weaklings.

 

The hiss of his ship’s hatch rang through his ears as the door began to lower and reveal the hanger bay.

 

Unsurprisingly, you were there waiting for him, the way you always were when he would leave you behind. He wondered if you waited because you worried or because you felt it was your responsibility. Again, it would be helpful if you allow him into your mind so he could put to rest his suspicion of you.

 

“Welcome back, Master.” It would be nice to hear those words, if there was any indication that you actually meant it. Your tone is always flat and monotone, no indication of your feelings one way or another. “I trust your mission was successful.”

 

He stops to look at you as he reaches the end of the ramp. Your eyes may be clear and wide but there is no indication of any true curiosity, nor interest. Were you so disinterested? Did you not feel frustrated at the fact that he was purposefully keeping you from everything that Snoke had asked him to do for you?

 

He doesn’t answer you and moves instead to walk past you, boots thundering heavily as he began to exit the hangar. It doesn’t surprise him when your quiet footsteps began to trail behind him.

 

The walk back to the observation deck of the Starkiller Base is silent, save for the heavy thudding of his boots and the hum of the base itself. Occasionally officers would stop in their tracks to salute him, but he had no intention of paying them any mind.

 

It's not long before he reaches the door to Snoke, with you still quietly on his tail. The annoying redheaded general is waiting for him, his boot tapping in impatience. When Hux sees Kylo Ren his eyes narrow.

 

“You’re late,” he comments. Glancing at Kylo’s young companion. Whenever Hux saw you, he couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the pairing. It would be so much easier to achieve his goals if the Supreme Leader, in his infinite wisdom, would have given Hux someone like you to work with instead of Kylo Ren. Having someone who sometimes operated in taking actions that diametrically opposed his own goals irritated him. And someone like you, who seemingly could do the same things and from what he could tell, much more obediently, would have been a much better fit, in his opinion. Still, Hux takes what he is given in stride and if he must deal with the insolent child that is Kylo Ren he will do so, until he can convince his Master otherwise.

 

Kylo Ren doesn’t respond and instead heads inside to give the Supreme Leader his latest report, Hux following close behind him. He leaves you behind without a word, and like a good student you stay planted, waiting for your master's return.

***

Whenever he is around, you feel like you are going to burst. That your stomach is going to erupt and bile will find its way spewing out of your mouth. Your throat felt tight and it took everything that was in you to make sure that you didn’t say anything stupid. Your mother had taught the way to behave, the proper way to interact with people above your station. How to make sure that people would see you as someone useful, complaint, and unobtrusive. In such a precarious existence, it was the best way to make sure that you were able to protect yourself.

 

When you had discovered your force sensitivity, you’d had tried to hide it from everyone, including your mother. From a young age, you had been able to do amazing things. Things that you used to help raise your families status in your village. Lift heavy objects, protect people from raiders, sense when people were lying, which was useful for negotiating better trade, etc. There were other abilities that you kept hidden. Things that only seemed to manifest in your frustration or anger. Violent unappealing things, that would only cause others to see you as a danger and may have ostracized you and your small family. So, you suppressed them and in doing so, suppressed part of yourself.

 

Well at least you thought you did. It had been late one night when you had begun to hear the voice that lead you to Snoke. When he would whisper to you about the parts of your mind that had been calling out for freedom. When you didn’t respond, didn’t intentionally reach out back, he began to send you visions of what could be. Of what you could be, how powerful you could become if you had used the parts of yourself that you had hidden away.

 

Soon you were packing up, telling your family that you were going to find a way to hone your strengths so you could be of better use to them. Which wasn’t a total lie. If you became one of the most powerful people in the galaxy, wouldn’t that benefit them? However, you hadn’t told them where exactly you were going, that you had joined the First Order. How would they react to that? Would they be disappointed? Maybe. You had used your gifts to stop First Order raids on your thriving home before, they have been small units of barely trained Stormtroopers, but they still had posed a threat. That had been one of the times your family had become rather revered in your village. If they had you, why would they need to worry about succumbing to the scourge of some new empire? If people found out that you instead joined those who would have harmed them, would that change the status of your family? It would certainly go against the principals that your mother had instilled in you.

 

This inner conflict caused you turmoil and for some time now, and you hadn’t been able to use your full abilities because of it. You were worried he would question your allegiance. Think of you as weak for even having such worries in the first place. When you first began training with him he had complimented you on your form, but even in his stoicism, you could tell that he was irritated that you had shown no growth since you arrived.

You wondered what would happen if you let him into your mind. Maybe he would understand the conflict that you are having within. After all, you would have to be a complete fool to not sense that there were times when Kylo felt conflicts within himself. Perhaps he would be more understanding than he appeared. However, it may be too late for you to beg his understanding. Harboring your secrets for months now, he had grown more than annoyed with you, and you knew if he could he would remove you from his service. It was partially why he left you behind on raids, even when he knew that you may be helpful in the battle, or that there were missions that you could do by yourself. If you failed to impressive soon, would he shirk off Snoke’s commands and get rid of you anyway? Just thinking about it made you want to vomit all over again.

 

The door to your left hisses open, and Hux’s boots exit out of the room first. He doesn’t spare you the lingering dance that he did when you had first arrived and instead completely ignores your presence as he hastily, almost angrily, walks into the direction of the control center, opposite of the way that you and Kylo Ren had come.

 

Kylo Ren is next, but strangely, there is a satisfaction in his gait that you had not seen before, or one that you believed that he could have. He turns to you, tall form ever imposing and amplified by his dark mask and hood.

 

“We have a mission in a week. Spend that time to prepare yourself.” It’s a short statement made ominous by the distortion of his mask. You feel your heart drop at his words and at his apparent satisfaction at the statement. Had your fears come true? Was this mission a test and what would happen if you failed?

 

“I-I won’t let you down, Master.” You say and your eyes go wide. Your mistake hanging in the air. It was the first time that you had ever sounded unsure, or hesitated in your answer. Would he find it annoying? Think you weak? When speaking to him you tried to keep as even a tone as possible as a signal that you were in control and as such had control over your abilities. To make him think that you would not be a burden to train. To make yourself useful, like your mother taught you. Had your illusion been shattered.

 

Superficially, there seemed to be no impact of your statement, save for a curious cock of the head by the slightly older male in front of you.

 

“We shall, see.” He says and he begins to walk away.

 

This time you don’t follow him. What good would it do? Right now, you must go and prepare for whatever possible mission it is that will be sprung upon you.

***

If you were still a child you would have pacified your nervousness by squeezing tight to one of your toys or snuggling into your mother while she patted your back. As an adult in your position, however, you were forced to squeeze your worry into a tiny box in your mind guarded heavily enough that your ever-prying mentor wouldn’t be able to access it. Luckily for you, it was easier to focus on keeping him out than it was to deal with your fear. This meant that the trip to whatever pitiful world you were going to shorter as you were so focused on keeping Kylo Ren out of your head, you had not noticed the time march by.

 

However, as you land a familiar clenching in your belly arises. You stand behind your mentor as the ship lands. A handful of Stormtroopers behind you, organized and unmoving. There is a thud signaling that the ship is landed on the ground. You almost lose yourself when the hatch of the ship detaches and the familiar hissing of the ramp lowering begins. With practiced footsteps Kylo Ren begins to walk forward and you follow closely behind him, the contingent of soldiers following in organized formation behind you.

 

It is quiet when all of you exit the ship. The leader of the Stormtrooper unit gives out orders his squad and soon they are beginning to explore your surroundings. You feel relief wash over you as you examine where you have landed.

 

It’s nighttime and the stars up above are the only light, aside from the ones coming from your ship. The village where you have landed seems to be based in a large artificially constructed clearing. There is a circular nature to the village. Large untamable forests surround it from every angle. The inky blackness of the tree tops is haunting, and if you were younger, you were sure you would probably have nightmares about what could possibly lurk in those forests.

 

The village you had come to cleanse of resistance fighters seemed empty at first. The rounded moss covered buildings were dark, as if to signal that no one was home. However, it is foolish. If they would have wanted to convince you all that no one was around, that there was nothing suspicious to be observed, wouldn’t it have been better to ask the villagers to behave as they normally would have? To eat their dinners merrily, and have their markets filled with a few of the homeless members of their community, to show that there was any sign of life?

It was obvious that this was a trap.

 

As if on cue, the first shots of a rifle blaster rings through your ear. Your head snaps in the direction and as if by instinct your body begins to hasten over to where the commander had led his troops, and away from your master, whose attention had been drawn over to just beyond the tree line.

 

When you arrive to where your troops are you surprised to find that half of your contingent is already down. The commander and the remaining troops are huddled behind one of the more decrepit buildings, hiding from whatever had taken out their comrades. You begin to calm your mind to find the source of their fear and suddenly a shot rings out and searing pain rips through your left leg, and you find yourself falling to the floor in pain.

 

‘Shit!’

 

“She’s been hit by the sniper, sir. What should we do!?” You hear one Stormtrooper panic.

 

“Leave her, she’s not in immediate danger on the floor, risking going out will get you both killed.”

 

‘Sniper?’

 

At the revelation, you pull yourself to a nearby rubble wall and leaned against it. Carefully, you peak over the wall and your eyes train on the tallest building in the village square. As the pain throbs in your leg, your jaw sets in anger. Your keen eyes get a glance of silver in the moonlight and you're able to see the outline of the rifle used to shoot you. A burst of anger and a need for vengeance bursts through you in a way that you hadn’t for a long time. Your hand lifts with the intention of crushing the gun, rendering the targets defenseless, but something else happens. The rounded outcropping above the sniper begins to crumble as you concentrate and when you clench your fist the entire thing falls on the fighter, killing them instantly.

 

You’re stunned for a moment but an enraged scream breaks you out of your reverie. A pair fighters stumble forth from the bottom of the building, guns drawn and firing in the direction of the Stormtroopers that are now coming out of hiding. Curiously, they don’t begin to run toward you and instead they begin to run toward the tree line, back to where you’d left Kylo Ren.

 

‘Why would they do that?’

 

Painfully, you pull yourself into a standing position and begin to stumble back to where you landed. The more you move, the more pain you find yourself in, and the angrier you become, and it gets easier to move. Like there is something fueling you.

 

It’s easy to identify your master, aside from the imposing black mask, his distinctive red lightsaber is drawn and you arrive just in time to see him cut down a resistance soldier. The man's body falls upon what looks to be a pile of corpses, remnants of the those who had seemingly tried to ambush your master.

 

Relief floods your system as you approach him, but movement out of the corner over your eyes shuts that feeling down.

 

The two resistance fighters have gone around Kylo Ren and are plunging into the forest.

 

‘What are they doing?’

 

As if to answer your question an orange haze erupts from the forest, signaling a fire. There is the familiar roar of an engine and soon, powered by its thrusters, the point of and X-Wing rolls into the clearing, however, it makes no move to lift off. From what you can tell, there is smoke coming from its engines, most likely do to some sort of previous damage. However, while it is incapable of flight it shows that its guns are still very much intact. The X-wing turns in your direction, and while you blank in fear for a moment it fires. Fortunately, it fires over your head. You whip around and see that the pilot was not aiming for you. The squad of Stormtroopers were coming to regroup with you, only to be blasted away.

 

You feel your breathing increase as your leg begins to ache, the pain causes a rage to take over your form. Who were they to try and steal your life? To hurt you like this? You may not have known those soldiers, but their lives did not belong to the resistance. Reflexively, your hand outstretches and you make a fist. The wing of the plane crumbles in on itself and falls to the ground. Even from here you can feel the panic from the fighters. The second wing is the next to go, and for good measure you crush the guns. Immobilized, the pilot begins to try and scramble from his seat. The moment he enters the night air the thought of ‘pull’ runs through your mind and his body is hurtling toward you.

 

He stops, up above you, dangling limbs swinging limply back and forth. There’s something in your mind, that presents himself at the man’s helpless form. An urge you find almost irresistible. Apart of you wants his neck to snap. For the life behind his eyes to slowly go out. It was only suitable payment, right? You’d been shot, the lives of your soldiers were taken, the loss of his life wouldn’t even begin to make up for the loss you suffered, would it?

 

“Enough.”

 

The distorted statement rings through your ears and suddenly the man's body is dropped to the ground and he is left groaning in pain.

 

“Master?” Your eyes turn to gaze at the tall form of the man beside you.

 

“He may have more information about other resistance camps,” He says with a tone you’re unfamiliar with.

 

Reluctantly you nod and move to the side as Kylo bends down to pick up the incapacitated man. He begins to walk toward the still open hatch of the ship, expecting you to follow him promptly, despite your wound. With a sigh, you turn to look back at the dead Stormtroopers a pitying feeling for the faceless members of the First Order washes over you. There would no one coming to retrieve their bodies and they would decay here in the ruins of the worthless scum that had ended their lives.

 

Movement catches your attention as the telltale side of blaster fire runs through your years. A shot hits the side of your ship, and your anger flares up again. Why won’t the scum just disappear?

 

You whip around, hand outstretched once more, and before you know what's happening, lighting streams forth from your fingers engulfing the forms of the men. It feels good, watching their bodies convulse, but before you know it they drop to the floor, unable to move anymore.

You swallow and pull back your fingers. It had been so long, so long since something like that happened.

Turning around, you find your master staring at you. You can’t tell what is running through his mind, but you seemed to have stumped him. There is a hesitation in his step as he turns around to head back into his ship.

 

Dutifully, you follow him back into his ship.

***

Did you pass or fail? That was the question running through your mind. You run through a checklist quickly. Did you get injured? Yes, fail. Did your squad survive? No, fail. Did you exterminate the resistance members? Yes, pass. Did you get more information? Yes, pass. You also used a power that you hadn’t used in years to electrocute two people to death. Extra credit?

 

Your thoughts are stifled by the slight pain that burns through your skin as your doctor presses the dressing to your wound.

 

She doesn’t say anything to you, and instead nods her head as she puts ointment on it and then begins to redress it.

 

The door hisses open the moment she's finished. Your master stands there warily and the doctor almost jumps at his presence. Quickly she makes herself scarce and leaves the two of you alone

 

There is a long pause as he comes to stand next the bed.

 

“Why did you hide from me?”

 

You blink up at the masked face of your master.

 

“Hide?”

 

“You’re stronger than I thought, to have powers like that.”

 

You don’t respond, unsure of what to say. Why had you never told your master of your ability?

 

Maybe secretly you were ashamed. When you had first discovered that had the ability to produce lighting it was when you were in your late teens. Being special wasn’t always looked at as a good thing, no matter how many people’s lives you made better. And the submissive nature that your mother had instilled into you had made you more of a pushover than what you would have liked to have been. This of course lead to bullying.

 

Every day for months, kids your age followed you home, pelted you with rocks and slurs, and you took it all in stride. Then one day, they had the audacity to touch you themselves. The first thing you remember was being tripped and your face falling against the gravel. The second was the hand burying its self at your neck as weight pushed down on you and they rubbed your face into the ground, causing deep grooves that thankfully healed. Then next moment, you’d blown them off you with your mind, and the next killed the ring leader with the lightening that flowed forth from your fingers. You were left alone after that, but you had caused so much trouble for your family. No matter how many good things you had done, killing someone child was not the best way to secure your position.

 

You’d made sure to tuck that ability away, to try not to use your powers in anger the way you had. But Snoke had seen through all of that, had seen your true nature, and that is how you ended up here looking up at your masked mentor.

 

“Unexpected,” He mutters. “Why are you afraid of it?”

 

You stare wide at his spot-on assessment.

 

“You were enjoying yourself when you killed them. There was a smile on your face.”

 

Was there? You don’t remember that. Were you happy to end those people. Maybe. Maybe there was a part of you that longed to be that person.

 

“I understand now. Why he gave you to me.”

 

You look at him curiously.

 

“Can you walk?”

 

“Yes, slowly.”

 

He doesn’t respond and in instead leans forward and hooks your legs over his arm and wraps his arm around your back. You’re lifted, quite quickly, up into his arms and almost immediately he makes quick strides.

 

There is a heat that rushes to your cheeks, an uncertainty that wracks your frame as that is tipped off to you by the rapid beating happening in your chest.

 

What is happening? What new thoughts had appeared in his mind?

 

You feel slightly embarrassed by the position. Especially with the eyes that scrutinize you as you walk down the hallway. The customary salutes and greetings are made for Kylo Ren, but the eyes that linger are on you have a less than respectful hue when they rest on your form.

 

“It’s strange.”

 

“Sir?” You question looking up to the mask.

 

“You worry so much about what other people think about you.”

 

Your heart almost stops in your chest. Had you really forgotten to guard your mind? You’d been practicing for months; how could you forget now?

 

Hurriedly you try to block him off, but he has your mind wide open.

 

“It’s too late.”

 

You were an open book.

 

He would see everything now. Everyone of your thoughts, intelligent or embarrassing. Your history, your family, your village. Would he think you were weak for having such benign worries?

 

You know he can sense your worrying, but he doesn’t respond. The walk is quiet and your left to stew, in your not so secret thoughts.

 

It doesn’t take long for you to reach your destination. You recognize the door that he has stopped in front of as the entrance to his quarters.  You’d often followed him all the way back here only for him to shut the door in your face. The minute that he brings you over the threshold you feel a rush of excitement at the prospect of exploring somewhere new.

 

The room is dark, even despite the automatic lights that come on to light his room. Aside from the obvious darkness and what you assumed would most likely be the standard assortment of furniture, you don’t get to examine anything about Kylo Ren’s room. He takes you back to his room, no explanation of his actions is offered. He places you down on the large bed that sits in the middle of the room.

 

As he steps back to examine your form, the room goes silent. This is strange. Why are you here? What did he want?

 

“The two of us, are lucky,” he says calmly.

 

“Lucky?”

 

“We were saved from a wretched existence by Supreme Leader Snoke, without him where would the two of us be?”

 

You don’t respond. You aren’t sure how to, you aren’t particularly familiar with Kylo Ren’s past or how he came to be in Snoke’s service.

 

“I understand why he gave you to me. They’ve corrupted you. Those people you call your family,” He pauses to lift his gloved hands to the lips of his mask. A low hissing rings through the air as he begins to pull his makes upwards off his face. The first thing that is revealed is his thick wavy hair that falls just to his shoulders. His pale face and deep brown eyes are next and you are little confused about the person in front of you. He is young, not that you expected him to be old, some of the tantrums that he had easily gave away his age, but he was still different from what you were expecting.

 

There was nothing particularly threating about his appearance. His nose is large and slightly crooked, his mouth is full but the tucked frown he wears on his face diminishes his lips. The brown eyes you noticed earlier are wide but not in an innocent manner. There is something dark about his gaze that has nothing to do with their color, but its intriguing. Almost enticing, you know that if you were allowed to, you could spend hours trying to unravel the different emotions that evoked such a complicated appearance.

 

“He wants me to show you what life could be like if you let go of the weakness that is holding you back. All that power you have, why are you hiding it? Worried about people who aren’t here. Get rid of them, since they cause you to waver so.”

 

You blink up at him dumbly for a moment. Let them go? Your family? The people you’ve lived your life for, how could you just let them go? They had loved and protected you, and shaped you to be the person that you are now, how could you just let them go?

 

Kylo pounces quickly on your open mind, “Who are you?”

 

“Me.”

 

“Are you?” He questions. “Until you left your family to join us, what had you ever done that was purely for your benefit?”

 

“I saved people, I protected my village.”

 

“Is that what a child is supposed to do?”

 

You hesitate, “W-well, I had the ability to-“

 

“And were you given the glory you deserved?”

 

“Well my family-“

 

“Your family- no your mother used your abilities to elevate their position and kept you on a leash. Like a pet made to dance when the owner wants amusement.”

 

“It wasn’t like that,” you try to defend but it comes out rather pathetically.

 

“Even now, you can barely hold conversation with me. But you fought today, you were alive in a way you hadn’t been before. Do you think your family wouldn’t have noticed that?”

 

“No, sir.”

 

“You speak like a servant.” He says bluntly after a pause. “That’s what they raised you to be and every day you fulfil the destiny that they have laid out for you and not the one you are meant.”

 

“What would you have me do?!” You ask exasperatedly.  “I’ve been given to you, I am supposed to serve you.”

 

“The only person we serve is Supreme Leader Snoke, everyone else is beneath us. You were given to me as a student, nothing less, nothing more. I am supposed to bring out the best in you.”

 

“You say that it is my family holding me back, so what should I do?”

 

“Kill them.”

 

“W-what?”

 

“If you can’t do that then kill yourself. The person that they can manipulate will always be held back by their selfish desires. You won’t be able to unlock the secrets of your power that way.

 

“Have you?”

 

He’s quiet for a moment, eyes lazily examining yours. He steps closer until he’s standing in front of your knees. His hand outstretches and is soon buried in your hair, and he pulls slightly, wrenching your head up to look at him. It’s not particularly painful but your heart skips a beat the moment he touches you.

 

“It won’t be easy, not for you,” he says and he uses his other hand to come rest on your chin, his thumb resting gently on your bottom lip. “More battle, will do it for you. If you do what you did today, it will only be a matter of time.”

 

There is an unexpected softness that comes over his features when he mentions your actions, his eyes narrow slightly as his thumb gently begins to move back and forth. His breathing is slightly harsher than it had been a few moments ago, and you begin to understand.

 

He liked it, watching you kill those men. He liked it almost as much, if not more, as you did killing them. Did he like you too? Or was he simply infatuated with the memory of your deeds?

 

“Does it matter?”

 

No, it didn’t. There was an opportunity here that was presenting itself. A chance for you to make a decision that was purely for your pleasure. A pleasure that you had been taught to deny yourself. Taking advantage of that opportunity, wouldn’t that be a great way to start killing off such a weak person.

 

There is an unspoken question that rings through the dark pools of his eyes, amplified by a cock of his head. For once you don’t hesitate, and you nod your head. His hand tightens in your hair and he bends down.

 

The meeting of your lips isn’t tender. It’s all hot breath and nashing teeth, but you don’t hate it, and from the pleased groan that arises from your partner when your teeth pull at his bottom lip, you don’t think he hates it either.  It doesn’t take long before he has you pushed back on the bed, weight pressing down on you. It is a pleasurable feeling, the meeting of your bodies, and it’s something that you thought you wouldn’t ever experience. Your mother never allowed you to interact with anyone in your village in more than a passing manner and when you joined the First Order, you assumed professionalism would take precedent over pleasure. Apparently, you were wrong.

 

Gloved hands are quick to find their way to your body, and even clothed as you are, there is an aroused heat the begins to pool in your belly that sends feelings of euphoria to the different parts of your body every time his hands run over a place that is even remotely sensitive. Achy hips rocks into yours and cause a lustful moan to erupt from the both of you.

 

His lips pull away from your form, chest heaving, and begins to remove his clothes. You attempt to do the same, but he stops you.

 

“Let me,” he says finishing removing his outfit.

 

You stop your working hands and let out a squeal of surprise when his hands forcefully rip your clothing from your body. Quickly, you’re just as exposed as he is. You want to cover yourself, it’s embarrassing to be so exposed to someone, but the look in his eye stops you from taking that action. If it were possible the lust that was present in his eyes, and groan that leaves his lips. Were you so attractive?

 

Before you have time to question more as his lips are on yours again and his hands are moving across your now exposed and heated flesh.  His tongue dips into your mouth quickly, and being unsure what to do you allow him to have his way with you. His mobile hands find their way to your thighs and they are quickly pulled up to rest on his waist.

 

His lips begin to lay kisses down your neck, biting and leaving marks and eliciting soft moans from your form. He continues moving down until he is at your chest. An erect nipple is popped into his mouth and his tongue is quickly wrapped around the small bead. The tingling heat of pleasure rolls forth from your chest as you moan and your back arches into him. The hand that is on your thigh finds its way between your legs and is pressed against your entrance.

 

You tense for a moment, nervous about what was about to happen. Sensing your nervousness, he bites down rather harshly on your nipple and while there is an ounce of pain that rushes through your system, it gives way to pleasure. Sneakily his fingers are pushed inside of you and you tense.

 

He pulls back from the abused nipple and uses his tongue to licks his way to the other abandoned one. He begins to repeat the ministrations as he works his fingers in and out of you.

 

Your head falls back against the pillow as you try to understand what is happening with your body. The pain and pleasure that your feeling leaves you somewhere in the middle and you aren’t sure how to process the mix of feelings that is rushing through your body.

 

Something changes when his fingers curl deep and inside of you and you are pulled from your thoughts as a needy moan rips from your vocal cords as he beings to repeatedly begins to hit that spot.

 

A different feeling, a coiling feeling begins to form in your belly as your hips begin to rock your body against his fingers. The more he moves, the more the sensation begins to spread across your body. As the pressure begins to build you find yourself closing your eyes. You are so close when suddenly he removes his fingers.

 

Curiously, you open your eyes to examine him. He pulls away from your chest and he looks at you with hazy eyes.

 

“Are you ready?” He questions.

 

It takes a moment for your pleasure addled brain to understand what he’s asking, but when your mind clears, you understand.

 

“Yes.”

 

He positions himself outside of your entrance and you take a deep breath as he pushes inside. You bite your lip to keep the groan of pain from tumbling forth from your lips. Soon he’s completely inside of you and he’s still.

 

He drapes his body over you and his deep eyes meet yours. He presses a needy kiss to your lips and you drape your arms around his back, pulling him closer. After this pause, he begins to move.

 

Its uncomfortable and strange, being stretched and filled this way, but the more he moves the more your body begins to give to the length inside of you.

 

Soon the pleasure feeling returns, amplified by the touching of sensitive warm skin.

 

He begins to move faster the more your hips respond to his thrusts and he pulls away from lips. Your nails begin to dig deep into the flesh of his back and an intoxicated moan rips through his chest. It makes you clench tighter around him, creating an even more delicious friction between the two of you.

 

Suddenly, he stops. His eyes glazed over with a haze of lust.

 

“Hold on.”

 

Quickly, your positions are reversed. You aren’t sure how it happened but you’re on top, looking down at the attractive pale expanse of his chest.  Strangely, his chin lifts offering you a tempting view of his long neck.

 

What is he offering?

 

There is a clenching in your belly as you watch as his tongue quickly pokes out to lick at his red lips. He swallows and his Adam’s apple bobs attractively. Your fingers twitch as you’re exposed to the span of his neck.

 

“Come on,” he prods and he roughly takes your hand and places it on his clavicle, just below his neck.

 

“Do it,” he states looking up at you with half lidded eyes. There is an amount of lust in his voice that makes every fiber of your being clench in pleasure, but still you hesitate. “I know you want to, I saw you smile when you choked that resistance fighter. This is what you like, don’t hide it.”

 

Your hand slides up from the position on his chest and your insides clench around the cock that’s resting inside of you, your body aching for the pleasant friction to return. Your lips part slightly with the tips of your fingers reach the base of his neck. Your thumb rubs at the tender skin there as excitement bites at your spine.

 

Gently your long fingers find themselves wrapping around his exposed throat and you begin to squeeze.

 

A pleasured sigh spills from his lips and he bucks his hips in response. The movement makes you squeal in delight. His hands find your hips and he begins to thrust up into you. Your hips begin to move in time with his. The sound of flesh slapping together starts to fill the room. The more pleasure warps through your body the tighter your grip on his neck. A groan leaves his mouth as it tightens and your other hand reaches up to join the one tangled around his neck.

 

A lustful smirk paints its self on his lips as the pleasure of the tightness starts to roll down his spine.

 

The pace between the two of you starts to get sloppy, uncoordinated thrusts and unsightly moans start to become the norm. He makes a well-positioned thrust up inside of you and pleasure begins to rock your frame. That combined with the sight of the red abuse flesh around his throat, sends you into and an aggressive orgasm. He follows soon after, the tightness surrounding his shaft and the pleasure of the pressure on his throat being too much to bare.

 

It’s still in the room for a moment as your stiffened bodies begin to come alive when the pleasure begins to subside.

 

Exhausted from activities, your body slumps forward and he slips out of you. Your instinct is to stay there, tucked against his sweaty body and rest, but you know it is more than likely inappropriate.

 

You move to remove yourself from his body, but his long arm comes to rest around your waist and he keeps you planted at his side.

 

“Rest,” he murmurs, voice low and tired. “Tomorrow, we’ll start your real training.”

 

 


End file.
